I Can’t Write about THAT? Why You Can and Should.

What’s your biggest fear? What causes your hands to sweat and your stomach to roll?

Being alone? Failure? Planes?

Whatever that fear is, someone in this vast world shares it. I can guarantee you are not alone.

Writers – even the most prolific – can stumble through a minefield littered with anxiety and fear. Whether it’s the fear of the blinking cursor (blank page if you’re old-school) or the fear of rejection, almost every writer stumbles upon a stage that makes their hands tremble.

Why? Because writing is a very personal experience. It’s a peek under the writer’s skin and into the recesses of their mind. It reveals things that we’d probably rather stay hidden. We are exposed, sprawled out naked on the page for everyone to see.

We are vulnerable. It’s unnerving for even the strongest soul.

It’s no secret I’m a hot mess of anxiety. I’m torn because of the constant need to write, to record the stories that are bouncing around in my head onto paper (or screen as the case may be) juxtaposed with the panic inducing fear of exposure. Of judgement. Of failure.

Sound familiar?

Try something new. Don’t try to brush off the anxiety and the worry. Don’t ignore it. Use it. Write what you fear the most, write the tender parts of your psyche.

But I can’t write about that! What if people think I’m weird? What if my mom reads it??

I’m pretty sure Mandela said it best: Courage is not the absence of fear, but bravery in the face of it. Find the courage to write while your heart pounds out of your chest and your hands shake.

If you’re not scared, you’re not writing.Ralph Keyes, The Courage to Write

Our best writing – that from our authentic selves – is steeped in embarrassment and  fear. Use it, don’t let it use you. If you find yourself mortified and blushing while you write, that is the material worth writing about.

If you are procrastinating or your mind keeps trying to change the subject or divert your focus – wrestle it back. Write about what keeps you up at night. Write what gives you nightmares.

That’s the writing that will pull the reader in, that’s what will wring their emotions and keep them turning page after page.

My challenge:

Get a cup of coffee/tea/water/whiskey – whatever beverage you like to have on hand when you write. Set aside some chocolate or cookies to help balm your ravaged soul afterwards.

Ready? Look deep. What scares you? Was there a trauma back in high school that still makes you toss and turn at night? Does public speaking cause your knees to knock? Snakes? Failure? Death? Pick one – or more if you’re really brave – and write. Really write. Dig down and rifle through the locked drawers in your mind. Own that fear. Write it out.

You can keep it short – 500 to 1,000 words is fine – or long if you’re in the groove. Just write. Then step back. Put it aside for a few days and then reread it. How does it look with distance? Did it make you feel?

How did this exercise worked for you? Comment below. Share. I’d love to hear from you!

[Note: This post was inspired by a book I’m in the middle of reading. An older but worthwhile book that I stumbled upon at the library this past weekend – The Courage to Write, by Ralph Keyes. I highly recommend picking up a copy. There’s tons of valuable info within the pages.]

New Year, New Goals

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Blank Page * Wiki Commons

Welcome to 2015!

I love beginnings! I love their squeaky cleanness: the fresh start, the blank page, the endless possibilities.

I’m one of those annoying people that set resolutions for the new year. But out of habit from so many years in school, I also do it at the start of the traditional academic year, summer, my birthday, each month….well you get the idea.

Unsurprisingly, I have a laundry list of goals set for this year. But thanks to a fabulous group I belong to on Facebook, I’ve done things differently this year. I could smack myself for not doing it earlier too. My 2015 goals are SMART goals. Setting SMART goals isn’t something new, I learned about it ad nauseam while earning my public health degree. I use it in my day job. My kids use the same principles in elementary school.

SMART goals are: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time specific.

Duh.

As a consummate goal setter, you’d think I’d apply the same type of principle to my writing. Nope.

So instead of my usual vague New Year’s resolution of “write every day”, this year I have “write 500 words minimum daily”. Too easy? Maybe. But juggling 3 kids, a day-job, and all of life’s roller-coaster antics is exhausting in its own right. Add in a fledgling indie writing career and BAM! you’ve got a recipe for chaos.

Goals need to be realistic and achievable. Set yourself up for success not the crash-and-burn of failure. After a 10 hour work day, chores, and all the fun that comes with wrangling a toddler to sleep, do you think 2000 words is a realistic goal? 1000? Maybe for another writer, but not me.

Especially when you add in all the other goals I have set for 2015.

However, I generally have one kid-free day off during the week. Eight hours of silence. Sigh. I’ve increased my word-count goal to 2000 minimum on those blissful days. I will do nothing. Nothing! Until I’ve met that goal. No social media (ohhhh that’s a challenge), no chores, no errands, n-o-t-h-i-n-g.

One of my goals is this blog. I’ll be blogging once a week. That’s 52 posts over the course of 2015. (See, I’m doing the SMART thing again.) Hopefully this will not only be a fun creative venture for me, connect me to YOU – my wonderful readers – but also have the added side benefit of accountability. I hate to fail.

Hate. It.

So putting myself and my goals out there – out HERE – for general public scrutiny is a pressure-filled way of holding myself accountable for these goals. Will it work? Who knows. But you can tag along for the ride and we can work it out together.

Did you set goals or resolutions for the new year?  Share them below – writing related or not. We can hold each other accountable.